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Series One - 1991
Smells
'Life is so boring when you can't "do it!" Even stuffing toilet paper down your trousers doesn't pull in the birds when you're a couple of sarcastic, smelly gits. But sex spray does ... watch out birds the love albatrosses are here.’
Guest Appearances:
Kevin McNally as the Sex Shop Assistant
Lee Cornes as Dick Head
Harriet Thorpe as the woman at the bar
Clive Mantle as her husband
Cindy Shelley as Kate
Carla Mendonca as Jenny
Gas
'Someone in the street is complaining about the gas and they don't mean Eddie's revival of last nights curry. But how do you deal with the Gas Man when your underpants are too tight and your one weakness (well one of many, actually) is a penchant for unmitigated violence.'
Guest Appearances:
Mark Lambert as the Gasman
Brian Glover as Mr Rottweiler
Gabi Valenti as Lolly
Contest
'Lieutenant Sex Machine Richard Richard is having an identity crisis while Eddie's playing grown-ups. Prepare for another dollop of "Lifestyles of the sad and desperate" as they amuse themselves by watching green flies pop on the organic beans under the grill.'
Apocalypse
'Richie's cursed by death in the form of foul - smelling Eddie and has to bargain for his life to save himself from asbestos underpants by playing Eye - spy, but Death's a bit thick.'
Guest Appearances:
Mark Arden as the Shooting Gallery Stall holder
Liz Smith as the Fortune Teller
Helen Lederer as the Nurse
Roger Brierley as Sir Roger Cobham
's Up
‘Eddie's got his jacket on back to front to show his social ranking in the great English tradition of shop keeping meanwhile "Mr two planets colliding in a pair of pants" Richard Richard thinks he's a descendant of the red Indians with a clan name of "Dances with the wind." Eddie reckons its something to do with last nights curry..............'
Guest Appearances:
Roger Sloman as Mr. Harrison
Michael Redfern as Mr. Cooper
John Wells as the Doctor
Evie Garratt as the Old Lady
Accident
'What a great time everyone's having playing Sardines at Richie's Birthday party or rather they would be if he had any friends. Well what do you expect from a fully grown man who calls his pyjamas "jim -jams" and wears them around his armpits?'
Guest Appearances:
Mark Williams as Boris
David Lloyd as Willy
Steven O'Donnell as Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Series Two - 1992
Digger
'Eddie and Richie enrol at Lily Linnekar's Love Bureau to meet the chick of their dreams. Is Richie going to fulfil a lifetime ambition - to have sex?'
Guest Appearances:
Lisa Maxwell as Lily Linneker
Helen Lederer as Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wellesley Obstromsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Oblomov Boblomov Dob, 3rd Viscountess of Moldavia
Kelly Hunter as the Charity Collector
Culture
'When their TV is taken away (Richie spent the money at Dr O'Grady's Personal Organ Enhancement Clinic) Eddie and Richie face a dilemma: culture or insanity?'
Burglary
'Eddie is pissed on Old Spice and bleach, Richie's lost £1.75 and his halibut supper in the process. And to top it all, something's stirring downstairs - and it's not in Eddie's underpants, either.'
Guest Appearances:
Rupert Bates as the burglar
Paul Bradley as tied up burglar
Tip Tipping as the burglar
Jonathan Stratt as the Policeman
Parade
‘This is our lucky day, free money from the police, free drinks from the saucy-bit-of-alright- -from-behind-the-bar-who-I-am-definitely-on-with-later and now a free tip from tight mouthed Larry.’
Guest Appearances:
Robert McKewley as the Policeman
Andy de la Tour as Chief Inspector Grobbelaar
Steven O'Donnell as Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Patsy Rowlands as Mrs Potato
Julia Sawalha as the Barmaid
Robert Llewellyn as the Falklands Veteran
Chris Langham as Tight-mouth Larry
Brian Croucher as the Pawnbroker
Robert Ashe as the Bookmaker
Lee Cornes as Dick Head
Holy
'Christmas Day and Richie has been marked out as the chosen one, entrusted with a miraculous "birth". At least now he knows why God has been keeping him pure!'
Guest Appearances:
Steven O'Donnell of Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Roger Sloman as Mr Harrison
Tina Foley as Valerie Bates
‘S Out
'Eddie and Richie run through the wilds of Wimbledon Common. Unable to survive on a packet of Hob-nobs Eddie's fishing with a string vest for a net, while Richie's got his eye on Uncle Bulgaria for tea.'
Guest Appearances:
Rupert Bates as the Flasher
Series Three - 1995
Hole
'Trapped at the top of a Ferris wheel at the local funfair, Eddie and Richie remain blissfully unaware of its impending demolition the next morning. Is life a bastard or are they just hopeless losers without a brain cell between them.'
Terror
'Eddie and Richie have a novel idea how to make money at Halloween. All it requires is fancy dress and a cattle prod to convince unwilling punters. Perhaps something "Supremely Evil" could be tempted to "come up from there."
Guest Appearances:
Steven O'Donnell as Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Lisa Coleman as Doreen
Paul Ballard, Simon Coray & Mahommed George as the Small Devils
Break
'A swinging holiday in Doncaster is complicated by a lack of condoms and Richie's desire to lose three stone in just over eight hours. Home liposuction with a vacuum cleaner clearly isn't the answer.'
Guest Appearances:
John Abbot as the Mormon
Jo-Anne Stockham as Voluptua
Dough
'The local pub quiz offers a £5,000 prize. Exactly the amount Richie and Eddie need to prevent master counterfeiter skull crusher from making pulp from their heads. Or will our heroes just spend the whole day boning up and working out.'
Guest Appearances:
Steven O'Donnell as Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Lee Cornes as Dick Head
Lucy Benjamin as the Nurse
Robert McKewley & Amy Marsden as the Students
Peter Geeves, Chris Sanders & Raymond Sawyer as the CID Men
Dominic Snowdon & Colin Wyatt as the Pub Team
Nick Scott as Skullcrusher Henderson
Finger
'A honeymoon break at the Marvelloso Splendido hotel in Wolverhampton awaits the newlywed Mr and Mrs Cannonball Taffy O'Jones, but Richie and his extremely unladylike bride Eddiena have the tickets.'
Guest Appearances:
Victor Spinetti as the Maitre'd
Kevin Allen as Marcel
Caroline Gruber as the Maid
Gareth Marks as the Receptionist
Rupert Rainsford as Pierre
Sue Scott-Davidson as the Woman
Carnival
'Time for the annual Hammersmith riot and who's got the best seats in the house? Tip - Top entertainment, fighting, burning, ram raiding - and when the going gets tough, Richie and Eddie go shopping.
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